This is a blog about my journeys as a biker-chick and my journey in life with Jesus, too!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Symptoms of Motorcycle Addiction

Is there a doctor in the house? I think I have a problem!

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Motorcycle Addiction

Even more serious than the notoriously widespread chocoholic mania, is the growing epidemic of a condition known as Motorcycle Addiction or MA. Don't laugh because you might be it's next victim. Better check yourself:


How many of these apply to you?

1. I have gone riding when I was depressed, or to cheer myself up.
2. I have gone on riding binges of several tanks of gas or more in one day.
3. I ride rapidly, often 'gulping' roads.
4. I have sometimes ridden early in the morning or before work.
5. I have hidden bikes in different places to sneak a ride in without being seen.
6. Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to ride motorcycles.
7. Sometimes I find myself analyzing sections of roads as if I was riding even while in a car.
8. I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a bike nearby.
9. At a boring party, I will often slip off unnoticed to go riding.
10. Riding has made me seek haunts and companions which I would otherwise avoid.
11. I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I have finished a ride.
12. I have spent money meant for necessities on accessories instead.
13. I have attempted to complete an Iron Butt ride.
14. Most of my friends are also heavy motorcycle riders.
15. I have sometimes passed out from a night of heavy riding.
16. I have suffered helmet hair or farmer�s tan from a bout of riding.
17. I have wept, become angry or irrational because of a road I have ridden.
18. I have sometimes dressed my infant child in a T-shirt that says �My mommy is faster than yours�.
19. My family thinks my riding is out of control.

If you answered 'yes' to three or more of these questions, you may be suffering from Motorcycling Addition. Affirmative responses to ten or more indicates a serious condition. Once a relatively rare disorder among women, MA, has risen to new record levels due in part to an increased supply of dealerships addressing the needs of a women riders.

Social costs of Motorcycle Addiction
Women may fantasize and dream, creating alternative worlds to ride through, to the neglect of friends and family. Their decorating styles change, pictures of velvet vintage Vincents adorn the walls. Crochet afghans in the shape of V-twins are strewn over couches and out-dated Shoei helmets pose as lampshades.

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Physical costs of MA
Physically it can take a toll on the body as well, in severe cases they develop bad posture from riding in awkward positions or carrying heavy tool bags. Wrists develop throttle twitches and feet get the clutch jimmies. In the worst instances, they become cranky bike mechanics with a lot of cats living in small towns.

Heredity
Recent MMI studies have established that heredity plays a considerable role in determining whether a person will become a rider of motorcycles. Most riders have at least one parent who suffered from MA, often beginning at an early age and progressing into adulthood. Other predisposing factors indicate mothers who are road race fans, collectors of rally T-shirts, or heavy leather wearers during pregnancy are more likely to pass on this condition in utero than non. Highly transmittable from one peer to another, many sisters and friends of an addict become motorcycle addicts themselves.

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Prevention/Treatment
There is no known cure or prevention for Motorcycle Addiction. Women with MA go on to live happy, healthy fulfilled lives, much to the chagrin of some folks.

~source unknown and slightly tweaked by KA for your amusement

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